The Birds & The Bees
Talking to Your Child About the “Birds and the Bees” From a Christian Perspective
For many parents, the idea of talking to their child about the “birds and the bees” can feel awkward or intimidating. But as Christian parents, we have a beautiful opportunity, and responsibility, to shape how our children understand God’s design for their bodies, relationships, and identity. When we talk openly, calmly, and early, we help our children grow up with confidence, safety, and truth. When you do this, you establish yourself as the expert. The more you respond to your child’s questions in this way, the more they will come to you, giving you the privilege of answering these questions instead of their classmates or finding it online.
*Remember – your child’s exposure to this topic is that of the oldest sibling in your child’s class. (i.e. - your kindergartener may have a classmate with a 17 year-old-brother)
Start Early—And Keep Talking
You don’t have to wait until puberty to begin these conversations. In fact, discussions about body awareness and God’s design for creation can begin in the preschool years. Use everyday moments: bath time, getting dressed, or questions about where babies come from, as opportunities to introduce age-appropriate truths.
These small, natural conversations lay a foundation for future discussions about relationships, respect, and self-control.
Use the Right Language
One of the most loving things we can do is teach children the correct names for their body parts. Using accurate language (“penis,” “vagina,” etc.) doesn’t take away innocence, it adds safety. When children know the right words, they are better able to communicate if someone ever crosses a boundary. This also helps remove shame and confusion from topics that are part of God’s good design.
If you have a friend or family member with a new baby, use this as an opportunity to introduce body parts. You could ask your child how they know what the gender of the baby is.
“We know Sarah is a girl, not because she has a pink hat, but because she has a vagina.”
Although this seems awkward at first, remember it isn’t awkward to call your elbow its correct name; the private parts don’t have to be awkward either.
Bath time is also a good way to say the names of body parts so you, the parent, can also feel comfortable using the correct language.
You can still frame these discussions within your family’s values by emphasizing that certain conversations are private. For example:
“God gave us some body parts that are private and should be covered and protected.”
Make sure you wrap up your discussion with something like:
“This is a private conversation, not because it’s bad or shameful, but because every family has the right to decide when and how they talk to their own kids about these things. It wouldn’t be fair for you to take that choice away from them. We want to keep other families’ choices respected. Keeping our conversation private, and within our family, keeps you from saying something that might make someone else uncomfortable or confused.”
Teach Body Safety and Boundaries
Body safety is one of the earliest and most important lessons. Teach your child that:
Their body belongs to them.
No one should touch them in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable.
Secrets about touching are never okay.
They can always tell you and a trusted adult if something feels wrong.
You can connect this to biblical truths about dignity and respect:
“God made your body, and it’s precious to Him. He wants us to take care of it and respect other people’s bodies too.”
Keep God at the Center
Sexuality isn’t just a “topic”, it’s part of God’s intentional creation. Framing it within His design helps children understand that their bodies and emotions are not shameful, but sacred. When children know why God created male and female (be fruitful and multiply Gen. 1:28), they are better prepared to live with purity and integrity later on.
As children grow, you can expand conversations to include love, marriage, and the beauty of waiting for intimacy within God’s plan.
Quick Action Steps for Parents
Start small. Use natural moments to build the conversation over time.
Stay calm and factual. Keep a neutral look and tone. Your tone and facial expressions teach your child that this topic is safe to talk about and their parent is the expert, making it comfortable for them to keep coming back to you.
Use Scripture. Genesis 1:27 and Psalm 139:14 are beautiful starting points.
Model respect. Speak positively about your own body and your spouse’s.
Be a safe person. Let your child know they can always come to you with questions, no shame, no judgment. Make sure your child knows if they hear anything they are uncertain about from someone else or from a screen, they can always come to you so you can clarify what they heard and give them a true and accurate understanding.
When we guide our children with both truth and tenderness, we give them a gift that lasts a lifetime: a healthy, God-centered understanding of who they are and how deeply they are loved.
Resources
The Birds & the Bees Podcast
4 Book Series: Gods Design for Sex
How to Talk to Your Child About Sex
Help your child understand God’s design for their bodies, relationships, and identity. When we talk openly, calmly, and early, we help our children grow up with confidence, safety, and truth.