We were out shooting baskets when we heard a man’s voice say “hello” we looked over the fence and there was a pleasant gentleman selling magazines. We quickly told him we weren’t interested. He asked if our neighbors were home and saying that they always purchase magazines from him. Then, he asked if we could please purchase something. We were not interested in doing this so I told him that I don’t need any magazines. He pushed further asking, “Would you be willing to buy something for the children?” Boy, he really knew how to get my attention but I was still suspicious. I asked if he had Christian magazines, he said “No.”
I looked at my husband and asked the gentleman to meet me around front. Although I was hesitant inside, I went through the house and grabbed my checkbook and opened the front door and started writing a check for $20, he quickly said, “oh no, I’m sorry, we take cash only”. My hesitancy turned into red flags. I knew he just needed money. I explained that I didn’t have any cash on me. He asked if he could come back tomorrow and inquiring further about times that we would be home because he was riding his bike. We told him a time to come back the next day.
I couldn’t stop thinking about him and the things he said. So I called my neighbors and asked if they purchase magazines from a gentleman and they had not. I knew it; I was right. My intuition was correct- they have never purchased magazines from anyone. I had many thoughts about this. My thoughts ranged from: this guy lied to us!, what about those children he mentioned?, should I call the police? is this guy the serial sex offender loose in Tulsa? (crazy thought) what is he going to do with the money? For some reason, this guy was different than the other people that knock on our door to sell stuff. There was a sense of need in this man and for some reason it consumed my thoughts. Thoughts, thoughts, thoughts, – some rationale, some crazy!
The next morning I knew he was coming back so I went and got some cash. I still didn’t know if I was going to give it to him or not. All day I thought about him and wondered what he really wanted? He never showed up…never came back! Yesterday, my doorbell rang and the kids said “mom, someone is at the front door and he just got off his bike.” I knew it was him… I explained to him that he was supposed to come back on Friday. He said he was sorry but he couldn’t remember what day he was supposed to come back? Another lie? I told him I talked to my neighbors and they have never purchased magazines from him. He quickly told another lie!?! I smiled and told him I still had some cash for him. Not much, but I did give him a little. Realizing that it’s not my place to judge or try to understand his motives but it is my place to serve and give as prompted by The Spirit! I should also say that this is not normally something I do but I have to admit that I have the same thoughts, doubts, questions, and potential judgmental thoughts when these situations arise. Whether it be someone on the corner asking for money or someone at QT asking for spare change, these same emotions and thoughts rise up in me every time. This time I did something different and honestly I am not sure why? There’s a reason he was so heavy on my heart. I am thinking God wants me to help someone and quickly realizing it’s not about me! It does make me think about Christ and how he gave to the poor without judgment and how he gave and gave and gave and gave until ultimately he gave his life for me.
My children had a many questions…an opportunity to have a beautiful conversation! Conversation about not judging just serving and giving! A conversation about Jesus…The Truth… Love… Money…Giving…Providing… Helping… Guiding… and Teaching!
Father, once again you brought someone into my life to help understand Jesus a little deeper! Thank you! Thank you for allowing me to truly process this experience and just love, not judge! Thank you that I was able to be different this time! Please forgive me as I tried to figure out the gentleman’s motivations’ instead of just giving! ~Amen